Tax Jokes and Quotes

Do you realize that some tax forms inquire of you to check a box if
you are BLIND?

Quote: Two years ago it was impossible to get through on
the phone to the IRS. Now its just hard to get through.
Thats progress.
-Charles Rossotti, former IRS Commissioner


Disappointed that you never had measure to write the efficient
American novel? Dont fret, just go dig out your past tax
returns.

Quote: "The Eiffel Tower is the Empire State Building after
taxes."

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small
business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file
on him. The IRS wrote back, There is now.

Quote: It would be nice if we could all pay our taxes with
a smile, but normally cash is required.

Q: Who audits IRS agents?

Quote: Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite
as satisfying as an income taxation refund.

Q: How do you drive a CPA insane?
A: Fill out Form 1040EZ.

Quote: The government deficit is the difference between the
amount of money the government spends and the amount it has
the nerve to collect."

Why is it that when the IRS loses a taxation return, it is
considered a error, but when you lose a receipt, it is
considered tax evasion?

Quote: "The wages of sin are death, but by the instant taxes
are taken out, its just sort of a tired feeling."

Q: How do you humble a human that flaunts their wealth?
A: Have them fill out a taxation return.

Quote: Even when you build a tax form out on the level, you
dont know when its through if you are a crook or a
martyr.

Q: Why is a taxation audit like a tornado?
A: Theres a lot of screaming and you finish up losing your house.

Quote: When are we going to be allowed to list the
government as a dependent?

People generally say death and taxes are the identical , but this
is wrong. Death is a taxable event, but taxes never
die.